Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Woes of a Workin' Mom

This morning we woke up late and the chaos level was through the roof!
We were running around and rushing about trying to get 2 babes changed, fed, and dressed. Along with pack their diaper bag for Grammy's house, pack our lunches, and get ourselves dressed, showered, and ready to walk out the door.
Wheew! On a regular day when we wake up "on time" this is a lot... but waking up late and trying to get it all done is almost impossible!

When we finally did get out the door and I got the babes to Grams... Greta clung on to me tight and didn't want to let go. If you are a mother, you know that is the worst possible moment for you... when you know you have to leave even though you don't want to... and your baby is just hoping you'll stay.

It just about brings tears to my eyes even writing about it. I hate when G does that to me but I know she doesn't mean to make me feel guilty... how can she? She's two and has no idea what guilt is! But it just about breaks this Momma's heart when her baby girl is clinging to her and just wanting her to stay and spend the day with her.

Now I know I am blessed because we only have to do this work song and dance Monday - Wednesday... so I am not gonna complain too bad! I know some Mom's have no other choice but to work full time, 5 days a week. But gosh... this working Mom thing.... it's hard isn't it?!

As I sit here at work today I can't help but feel a couple different emotions....

1.) Bummed that I have to work at all! Bummed that we desperately need my income to make ends meet. Bummed that I miss entire full days of my children's lives. Bummed that when I do have days with them that I don't fully utilize my time! Bummed that I try and juggle cleaning house and doing laundry when I really just want to let the house go to shambles and spend the whole day with the babes. Bummed that if and when I have days like that the next day is all about "catching up."
2.) I vow that I am going to start getting up earlier and making my mornings... the morning of my babes... go smoother! There is nothing that gets a day off to a terrible start than a terrible morning. When we have one of "those" mornings around our house I feel like it is already lunch time and I am still feeling all that stress and trying to shake off the morning.

Why is it that mornings are so hard for me?!
Well I think I know the majority of the problem.... I go to bed too late!
I would say on any given night Loren and I don't go to bed till between midnight - 1 o'clock. We get Tuck in bed at 8:00 then we spend time with Greta until we put her to bed at 9:00. Then when the house is finally quiet at about 9:30.... Loren and I either need to do some dishes or laundry, or are feeling crafty and want to tackle a little project, or are so tired and drained of energy that we just want to veg out on the couch in front of the tv.
Regardless of what we are doing... we are just trying to squeeze in "me time" or a little "us time" and late nights are the only time we can do that. However, late nights lead to late, busy, stressful mornings and I really need this to stop!

Got any suggestions?
Do you gals get up with enough time or dare I say EARLY?! And if so... how do you do it?!
Or are you like me and sleep till the last minute only to be stressed the minute your feet hit the floor?

Well, whatever the case.... starting tomorrow I am really going to try and nip this in the bud. And as for being a working Mom... that's not gonna change anytime soon... guess I just needed to vent. - Sorry you gals were here to read about it! lol

But the good news about venting via blogging is.... all of this is documented. The good, the bad, the ugly. So one day - if and when Greta is old enough to read her Mommy's blog - she will know that she was loved. She will know that Mommy shed a tear when I had to drive away and leave her behind while I went to work. She will know that I struggled and tried my best to give her things and spend time with her. She will know I did my very best (or what I knew to be best) to be a good wife, friend, sister, and mother. I like that she will get to know and hear different sides of me. Different sides to being a wife and mother.... because trust me, when I was younger I couldn't wait to grow up! I thought being a mom and a wife was the cats meow! And trust me.... the majority of time... it sooooooo is! But sometimes the stress and guilt just about consumes you!

But this is life and I said in the beginning that I would blog about Parenting, Homemaking, Cooking, Crafting, Entertaining, and LIFE. - The good, the bad, and the ugly right?!

But for the record... I am so blessed! And even though certain days are tough, I remember this quote...

"All of my life, in every season, you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship."

Hears to a better today and a brighter tomorrow! - hope I didn't bring anyone else down! lol

Oh... wondering why it's so hard to leave Ms. G? .......

She's funny...

She likes to try on her winter boots in August so she can be prepared for all the snow!

She's playful....

......... and she is the cutest, sweetest thing, that has ever graced my life.

I love you Greta Janel Appleberry!

Chat later,

Jen

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