When I got the call that Jay passed away I was in the truck driving the babes to Mom's house.
There was really no way to hide or even play down the emotions I was feeling... so needless to say... my babes got to be there while Mommy had a small emotional breakdown.
When I first heard the news there was really no words... just tears.
That night Greta was very intrigued and concerned about why I was crying so hard on our drive to Grandma's house.
So, the best way I could, I explained to Greta that Mommy had lost a friend and I was very sad that I would never get to see him again.
Greta asked where he had went? - thinking maybe he just left or went on vacation.
I explained that Jesus needed him up in heaven and so he had to leave us and this life so he could go be with Jesus.
She then replied... "so he lives in Heaven now?"
And I said... "yep."
Over the last week since I have been living with Jay's passing, Greta has continued to ask some questions and just drop little lines like... "Daddy, Mommy has a friend that lives in Heaven."
Or... "Mommy, Jay Beck is with Jesus right now."
It's amazing how fascinated she is with all of this and how much her little ears pick up!
Whether I was watching a news clip or talking about Jay and saying his name over a phone conversation... Greta knows quite a bit!
Granted everything I have said or seen around her has been censored and I explained to her in the most preschool manner what happened.... she just still talks about it from time to time.
Like this morning....
We have been sitting at the table painting, coloring, drawing, you name it... and although I watch Tuck like a hawk when we have crayons and colors out, I usually let G do her thing.
After she was done with her picture, she walked right over to fridge, grabbed some magnets and put it up.
When I looked over to see her picture she proudly announced...
"Look Mommy I drew your friend Jay Beck!"
I said... "Oh Greta, thank you!" "It's beautiful!"
"But who is that other person standing by Jay?"
And Greta said...
I'll have to admit, I couldn't help but smile and tear up.
I wonder if it will be like this for awhile?!
We are all still so sensitive to his name and the situation.
Either way... my Greta is a sweetheart.
It's amazing what her little ears pick up on and how her little mind perceives things.
I am so blessed to have her.
Hope you all are having a great Thursday!